re-entry

Have you ever had a season of life that seemed as if you were in the middle of the ocean fighting to stay afloat? Yeah, me too.

The past year has been a wild ride for our family. It wasn't full of major trauma, just lots of new experiences and challenges that overwhelmed us and forced me to choose those things that were necessary for our daily survival. Blogging didn't make the cut. 

Maybe some day I'll go into great detail, but for now I think I'll keep that for a rainy day and jump back into the blogosphere with our current goings-on.

And here is where I should go into an account of all that we are doing, but I'm still half asleep in my attempt at rising before my children every morning. But, consider this my official return. 

Now I'm off to search the pantry for some type of breakfast that won't put my children into a sugar coma for the rest of the day.

A List of Things

1) Seeds Family Worship CDs have been a staple in our home for a few years now. I love that the lyrics are straight from scripture so my kids (and me & Kyle) are hiding God's word in our hearts as we memorize the songs. And Kyle appreciates that the music is cool and not the intolerable kiddie music that many children's songs are made of. Lucas even likes it - and that's saying a LOT since he's going into middle school and so-very-cool-now and all.

2) Pinterest has become my summer addiction.

3) This will also be a summer addiction. Mostly due to the incredibly large numbers of cucumbers we have coming out of our garden right now.

4) And if this chalkboard contact paper lives up to its claim, it just may change my life. Or at least my house.

5) I'm reading this book right now. It's definitely challenging and convicting. And, unfortunately, much needed in our home.

Vacation Video Diary Episode "I lost a tooth"

**Edited to add: these videos are playing very strangely on my computer. It may be my internet connection. Or it may be some weird technological thing that I don't understand. Please let me know if the people in the videos are moving rather quickly while they're words are not.**

Well, it wouldn't be a Brogdon vacation if somebody didn't lose a tooth. Actually, I don't think anyone in our family has ever lost a tooth on vacation. But, it totally sounds like something that would happen.

A few things to note about the following videos:
1) I have noticed it is a trend for Ellie to turn to me several times throughout her recordings to verify her answers are correct and ask me for advice. This does not follow her normal way of doing things.
2) It's obvious that Lucas is incredibly shy about sharing the spotlight with his brother. And why is he eating in the bedroom in front of the mirror?
3) The day is only half over. Why am I having to give verbal cues as to what we have accomplished so far?

Vacation Video Diary Day 1 (& bonus birthday footage)

Things I Never Though I'd Hear Myself Say #778,912

"Get the cat off your head!"

Perfectionism

Upstairs I hear the rat-a-tat-tat of drumsticks beating. More than likely, they are not hitting the intended target. Sounds more like a wall. Yes, that's definitely a wall. So much for the "newness" of our house.

I yell at Lucas to stop the incessant drumming on the walls. I'm told he's not the culprit.

Jacob quickly speaks up and says he is the one practicing the drums. Which is great, except Jacob doesn't know how to play the drums. He tries, bless his heart, but the boy has not an ounce of rhythm (I just spelled that word at least 52 times before I got it right.)

Jacob suffers from what I like to call "I have to be able to do everything anyone else has even remotely succeeded at" syndrome. If Lucas plays guitar, so must Jacob. If Lucas hits a home run, so must Jacob. If Lucas can dive into the deep end, Jacob can surely do the same. If Lucas can play the drums, then it's obvious that the same talent must course through Jacob's veins.

The problem is ..... for most of those things ...... Jacob can't. Not that he won't ever. As he gets older, he will certainly accomplish many things that his older brother can already do. But, for now, he can't.

Sometimes this can be good. A little determination goes a long way in trying to learn a new skill. But this intensity and drive mostly just makes him miserable. He is a little boy with huge ideas. And when he can't do those things just the way he envisioned, his life falls apart. It's perfectionism at its deepest.

God has shown me recently (as in today) that these moments are God-given. Moments where the gospel should step in. Instead of taking 10 deep breaths to lower my blood pressure when he is in a heap of tears against the pool fence because he can't dive perfectly the first time, I should be using that time to remind Jacob that no one is perfect. Not me. Not his dad. And certainly not his oldest brother who he tries to keep up with.

But, we do know one who is. And through Him we can do all things.

So I teach Jacob that only through Christ will he ever succeed.

Will Christ work in Jacob to do that perfect roll on the snare drum? Maybe. Maybe not.

But, when we find our identity in Christ, when we seek Him and allow Him to work through us, we will be successful. Maybe not as the world defines success, but certainly as God defines it.

And that, my friends, is all that matters.

Now, if only I can explain that to the 8-year-old upstairs throwing drumsticks against the wall.

Random Thoughts

1) I thought life would slow down when school ended. I was wrong.

2) Our family has grown by two four-legged, furry creatures. We adopted kittens about 3 weeks ago. They are extraordinarily cute.

3) The poor things have become Ellie's sole source of entertainment. She follows them. She carries them (like newborn babies). She scolds them. She bosses them. She "reads" to them. She would like to brush their hair and teeth, but that hasn't happened. Yet. I'm also waiting on the "kitty hair cutting salon" to happen.

4) I'm amazed the cats have survived the past 3 weeks in our home. (See previous bullet point for explanation.)

5) I have only recently been overwhelmed with the realization that my eldest offspring will be entering middle school in the fall. MIDDLE. SCHOOL. M-i-d-d-l-e S-c-h-o-o-l.

6) I think I'm way more nervous than he is.

7) When in the world did I become old enough to have a child in middle school? Shouldn't I still be in my dorm room wondering if I have enough "skips" left to ditch my night class in order to go to IHOP with friends?

(Not that I ever skipped class.)

8) This is the last week of the summer that has nothing on the schedule, which means this will be our busiest summer in, well....., forever.

9) Kyle & I have started P90x again. Though we haven't made it consecutive days, we are doing pretty well and have lost some weight. Okay, so he has lost some weight. But, I haven't gained any. So I consider that a victory.

10) I don't have a 10 but needed one to even out my list. (My old college roommate, Robyn, will be the only person who understands this need in my life. That, plus the fact that speaking the word "infinity" before bed will only lead to insomnia. And, yes, I did just call you old. And, yes, I am speaking to an individual in my blog post. Told you this list was random.)

Random Pics

My baby boy will be starting middle school in the fall. YIKES!

Naptime in the car. The only place this ever happens anymore.

On the beam. 

painting

Face paint at First Friday downtown.

Noah painted like a goateed superhero. 

my crazy bunch after a day at the pool.

powerade popsicles

One of Lucas' drawings recently chosen to be displayed at the courthouse.

PICTURES

Too much going on in my brain to form coherent sentences. Here are some very overdue pictures of the past few months.

Jacob was baptized at our church's first baptism service. It was at the river

We celebrate God's faithfulness to our family!

Ellie and one our college friends, Molly, after baptism.

I found this on my camera. Jacob has been playing sports photographer, I think!

Lucas has been playing catcher this season. He loves it and is getting better and better!

We finally bought a house here - no more renting! 

The kids and I spent the day at UGA recently for their annual vet day.

Another picture I found on my camera. Seems Lucas was a bit bored during one of his online classes.

Ruff-Ruff

In December of 2002, Noah turned a year old. A few weeks after that, we received a package from my Aunt Marge. It contained two stuffed animals, a brown dog and a green bear. Lucas immediately chose the green bear and we handed the dog to Noah.

The dog has not left his side since that day.

Ruff-ruff has become a part of Noah. He is now tattered, torn and missing some of his insides, but still Noah loves him. He wakes up in the morning, grabs Ruff-ruff and heads downstairs. He watches tv with him, he goes in the car with us and, most importantly, Ruff-ruff goes to bed with Noah every night. We've even been told that Ruff-ruff is talking to him (or to us!).

I keep thinking that one day, soon, Ruff-ruff will be packed away with other memories of childhood. But, so far, that is not happening.

I guess until that day, we'll still be hunting Ruff-ruff at bedtime every night and watching Noah as he rubs Ruff's tail on his nose while watching tv.

And I'll make mental photographs so that one day, when I'm old and wrinkled and yearning for days of noise and activities, I can look back through my memories and remember my sweet boy and his best doggie friend.

How long has it been....

Wow. I think life gets so busy sometimes that I can't narrow down which part to write about. So I don't write about anything. For a month. yikes.

Here's a little list today just to get back in the groove of things.

• We started a new homeschool curriculum in January. I thought I would love it but it's not turning out that way. However, we're stuck with it until May.

• Lucas is in a community theater group. His first assignment is to do a mime performance for a downtown event in March. If you know Lucas you will find it as ironic as I do that his first acting performance requires him to be silent.

• I have taken a freelance writing job. It's a great job. I write. They pay me. We'll see if I can keep it up.

• I have also decided that no matter how hard I try to make myself be a runner I am not one. I am okay with the fact that a 5K is as far as I will ever run. I would rather do an hour of an intense weight workout or even a P90x video instead of run. That's who I am and I am proud. 

• We went to the dentist yesterday. The boys had chocolate and cookie dough flavored toothpaste. I found that a little odd.

• Ellie is at Kyle's parent's house all week. I have constantly had this feeling that I'm missing something or leaving something behind.

• I am ready for spring. 

• I don't really have another one but can't stand to end with an odd number. Yes I have issues.

So. This is probably the most disconnected list of nothing that I've ever written. But I can say I posted something today. Now I must go see what God has in store for today that I can write about tomorrow. :)

I'm sure you're all familiar with the Old Testament story of Jacob & Esau. Esau, in a moment of impulsivity, gave his birthright to his younger brother Jacob in order to get some food to fill his hungry belly. Something he greatly desired at that moment. He wasn't thinking into the future, only about the desire for the moment. Jacob wasn't innocent in this, though. He was a manipulator throughout the entire thing.

Fast forward to the Brogdon house, 2011.

For Christmas, the boys got a rather large lego set to share.  They had been looking forward to putting this set together since Christmas morning.  Yesterday, they opened the box to begin. Lucas and Jacob started arguing over who was going to put the trailer of the truck together. Lucas had been "wanting since he saw the box" to do it, but Jacob insisted that he was "good enough to do it." This went on ALL. DAY. LONG.

(I must insert here that Noah was happily putting together the smallest portion of the set and was in no way involved in this brotherly disagreement)

Until finally, sometime later in the afternoon, I heard the following conversation.

Lucas: Jacob, please let me put the trailer together.
Jacob: NO.
Lucas: PLEASE?!?!
Jacob: Okay, you can put it together, but you have to clean my whole room.
Lucas: Okay. Deal.
Jacob: Deal.

Lucas clearly wasn't looking into the future. He was only thinking about what he desired in that moment.
Jacob, wasn't innocent in this, though. He definitely knew what he was doing when he made that deal.

This morning the deal is being completed. Lucas is not happy about this. (I wouldn't be either. Jacob & Noah share a room and it is a disaster!) But he is learning a lesson about making decisions, thinking ahead, and fulfilling promises made. (though he insists he did not PROMISE. He just made a deal.)
Our modern day Jacob & Esau story is done.

All this analogy has made me think. How many times do I make a decision based on my momentary desires? Do I stop and consider future effects of my decisions?  On the other side of the story, how much do I try to manipulate circumstances to fulfill these desires? How many times do I try to help God out by taking things into my own hands?

If I'm honest, I have to say I'm not good at thinking ahead and I certainly have been known to manipulate and take control of something to "help God out" a bit.

Hmmm ..... maybe I have something to learn from Jacob & Esau myself.

nine

In early 2001, Lucas was 7 months old, I had just come off of working a long-term substitute position, and Kyle had a new job. We were not planning on having another child for a while when all of a sudden - surprise! We were in shock. But, it didn't take God by surprise. 


Nine years ago today a precious, tiny, 5 pound baby boy came screaming into our lives. We weren't prepared for his arrival. He wasn't supposed to be here for 6 more weeks. He was a Christmas surprise. But, he wasn't a surprise to God.


We were told he'd spend some time in the NICU. "Babies born this early do well, but be prepared for him not to go home with you." I can still hear those words clearly, and feel the anxiety that I had.


Noah entered this world crying loudly and was very alert. He did not spend even a minute in the NICU. Everyone was surprised. But not God.


During his preschool years, we noticed some odd things. Habits, routines, speech patterns. The way he never entered a group of kids to play, but would stand by the fence and pace back and forth during preschool recess.


"He's just shy. He'll catch up. He's just a late bloomer," everyone told us. Over the next few years, though, it didn't get better. 


When Noah was seven, he was diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome - a high functioning form of Autism. I had long since figured this out through my own research, but hearing it from a "professional"? It rocked my world. It took us by surprise. But, it didn't surprise God.


Noah is the light of our family. He has such a pure heart. Not big on words, but when he does speak, you should probably listen. It's most likely worth listening to. Though he doesn't talk about it much, his understanding of spiritual things is almost deeper than mine. His baptism was a lesson for me straight from God. (you can read about that here)


He is super smart and loves all things computer. He's not big on athletics, but give him Lego Star Wars or Super Hero Squad and he's completely satisfied.


He rarely complains (unless it's at dinner. That's another post for another day) and is very easy going as long as he has his routines and video games.


He has a sense of humor that rivals anyone around. He can twist words to make jokes that I never would have thought of.


God has used this little boy in my life in big ways. He has shown me that my plans? They're not the best. My timing? Not perfect. But God's plans and timing? They are always perfect. He is in control and nothing slips past Him. Nothing.


Noah, As you grow I pray that you will continue to follow after God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength. Always remember how special you are for you are "fearfully and wonderfully made." I love you more than you will ever comprehend and I thank God for giving me the privilege of being your Mom.


I love you, Mama. 

Just another normal Monday morning......

• Start washing machine for laundry. The sound of water makes me remember that the dishwasher needs to be started. 
• Walk into kitchen and turn on dishwasher. Phone rings. 
• While on phone see that email from husband has come. 
• Read and answer email after phone conversation is over. In the meantime, see 3 different emails that "need" to be read. 
• Child #2, who is almost 9, can't seem to find a pencil and desperately needs help. Help child find said pencil which is on table right in front of him.
• Tell child #1 to help child #4 put together a number puzzle. Take puzzle into living room and see cups on end table that should've gone into dishwasher. 
• Put cups in the sink and see coffee that was made 2 hours before. Decide to warm up a cup.
• While coffee is in microwave, see water bill on computer desk. 
• Walk through laundry room, to get to the car, to get checkbook and see the washing machine full of water and no clothes. 
• Try to push dirty clothes down into machine full of water. Close lid, and hope for the best.
• The sound of water reminds me of the water bill so I retrieve checkbook from car. While in garage, see Christmas presents that are stored in storage room. Remember that something is on sale today that I need to order for hubby. 
• Sit down at computer to order present for hubby and decide the blog needs to be updated.
• While writing blog, remember coffee that was put in microwave that is now cold again.
• Realize how truly miraculous it is that anything is ever accomplished around here!

Merry Christmas!

• It's a little rough around the edges. Guess I should have given them more than 30 minutes of prep time. 
• Jacob seems to have developed a case of performance-based stuttering. Or maybe it's the fact that he's had no solid food in 48 hours due to a case of the nasty, evil stomach bug. Poor guy.
• Could Lucas look any more like a giant in the land of the littles?

Despite my phone's horrible video quality, the kids apparent need for more learning time, and their inability to stand still, I thought it was a success. :)

Seems I've taken an unintentional bloggy break, huh? Life has been crazy lately and by the time I can sit uninterrupted to write something I'm so exhausted that lifting each finger to type a key seems too hard.


What's been going on around here? Well, let's see:


School, weekend company, more school, more weekend company, the launch of weekly services at our new church, spending time with old friends, Thanksgiving, fighting with an eBay buyer and spending hours on "live chat" with eBay customer service reps who have no idea what's going on, Christmas preparations. That last one just kinda snuck up from nowhere. I was still thinking we had at least 6 more months!


*Thanksgiving was fantastic. We head up to Knoxville to spend a week at my grandmother's every year stopping in Chattanooga on the way to see friends. The only picture I have from the whole week is on Kyle's phone. So sad.   Update: found a few pics on Kyle's phone and here they are!

Lookout Mtn. Battlefield - Chattanooga

Had to get 2 new tires on the van while we were there so we hung out at the mall with the minions from Depsicable Me movie.

Had dinner at my aunt's house one night. This is Jacob beating playing the drums.

Hiked House Mtn. in Knoxville with the boys. Noah found a new passion in hiking.

Good times with Lily, Elie, Zoe, & Sam

*Christmas is my most favorite time of the year. Always has been. I've had Grooveshark going with all sorts of Christmas albums I'm too cheap to actually purchase. The house is decorated. Most of the presents bought and wrapped. Baking planned out. Love it all.  


*This time of year, I marvel at the fact that Jesus came down and took on flesh to become our Saviour. My mind is boggled at the fact that he was all God yet all human. "How deep the Father's love for us! How vast beyond all measure"


*I also think about Mary. A few years ago I wrote down my thoughts here.


*While all this is going on around me, I received an email last night about a prayer request for a dear friend. I won't go into details but it devastated me. I truly believe that God is sovereign even in suffering. Though I will never, ever understand why some things happen. Praise God that there is hope through Christ. 


"But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. ⁸We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; ⁹persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed;......... ¹⁶So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. ¹⁷For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, ¹⁸as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal." 
2 Cor. 4: 7-17

end of an era

About 3 years ago Kyle came home from work with a really nice (expensive) camera. His department had found it in the midst of cleaning out some closets, so he brought it home to experiment with. He had taken several photography classes while in college and it quickly came back to him.

Soon after that, we invested in a much less-expensive version of that camera. Kyle began doing some photo work for various families and kids and before we knew it, he was a full fledged, part-time photographer. Kyle Brogdon Photography was born.

Kyle Brogdon Photography went of out business when we moved this summer. But he still had his equipment. I would not let him let it go. Until this week. I realized we don't really need that much of a camera anymore. I can't pick it up and just start taking pictures - it's much more involved than that. And, with debt to pay and Christmas approaching, the extra money would be nice. So, the camera is now on ebay.

This past weekend I had a mini-breakdown realizing that this camera would soon be gone and we had not taken real pictures of our kids in over a year. So we headed out yesterday to the college to get a few quick shots. Here's some of what Kyle did in about a 20 minute time span. I may be biased, but I think he's the best photographer around.

Pie

This was a real conversation in the back of my van yesterday.

Jacob: "Mom, that sign at Zaxby's says they have caramel pecan pie milkshakes. YUM!"
Noah: "I don't like pecan pie. It tastes like pecans."
Jacob: "I don't think pecan pie tastes like pecans. They just add the right amount of crunch to it."
Noah: "I don't like crunchy. I like soft and creamy pie."
Jacob: "Well, then, you should try the coconut cream pie at Golden Corral. It's sooo good."
Noah: "oooh. Is it soft and creamy?"
Jacob: "Well, I wouldn't call it soft - soft, but it is definitely soft."
Noah: "I like soft. Like Mimi's chocolate pie - that sends my taste buds through the roof!!!"

I can't tell you the joy I experienced from listening to my 7 & 8 year olds critique pie. They are definitely my children.

Risky Business

Yesterday the kids and I ventured out to Kroger. I don't know why I try anymore. I should know by now that trying to buy a cart load of groceries + focusing on sales, coupons, and mega event totals + 4 bored children = disaster.

I can't complain. I have very well-behaved, polite, obedient children 98% of the time. It's just that you never know when that other 2% will happen. So going out in public is a bit risky. And yesterday met their monthly - dare I say even yearly - quota for that 2%. I didn't even see it coming.

I had everything organized. Coupons in place, detailed list made. So I thought it would be a quick in-and-out of the store. I didn't factor into the equation that school had just gotten out and every mom in the county would be in Kroger with their own children picking up something for dinner that night. (or maybe I'm the only one that has to make an emergency run to the store for dinner ingredients????) I also didn't factor into the equation that a few of the things on my list to make the Kroger Mega Event even doable would be gone causing me to have to actually think and add/subtract on the go. Which is normally quite easy for me but between "Stop karate chopping the UGA signs!" and "Where'd Ellie go?" I was not at my finest math moment.

About halfway through our journey I realized that I needed to regain some control. We were getting evil eyes from people just trying to maneuver through the maze of children running down the aisle. Ellie was playing "how far can I run away from mom before she completely loses it?" and Jacob was on a mission to rid the store of every UGA logo he could find. Lucas had Noah in a headlock while Noah danced around trying to get himself free.  I turned around and screamed gently beckoned them to come to me. I laid down the law and they all nodded their heads like the sweet little angels they are.

Then I turned my back on them. And it was chaos once again.

By the time we got to the check out I was D-O-N-E. I sent them out of the register aisle to wait for me. There happened to be 3 carts of Halloween clearance that I didn't see as well as a pallet of dog food stacked high. It was about the time the bag boy started questioning how I could shop with "all those kids" that I heard a cashier call out "Honey, please get down off of there before you fall."

I didn't want to look, but knew I must. Lucas and Ellie were standing on top of the dog food stacked high. Jacob and Noah were fighting with "lightsabers" (which were really ax-like weapons from the halloween clearance).

I finished paying and got out of there as fast as we could.

I'm not sure but I think I heard loud cheers go up as we walked out the door.

Yes. There were consequences when we got home. It involved rakes, a big yard full of pinestraw and leaves, and a very quiet evening for me after children went to bed very early.

I've learned my lesson. I can definitely say that I will not be taking all my kids into a store again. Until next time at least.

Adoption

On June 29,1975 a baby girl was born. That day was filled with two sets of tears. One of sorrow from a mother's heart torn by the decision to give her daughter a better life. Another from a mother's heart that had longed for a child for many years and would now receive that gift.


Thirty years later, June 24, 2005, another baby girl was born. Again two sets of tears flowed - one from sorrow and one from joy. 


I was the daughter who was adopted in 1975. I grew up knowing the meaning of adoption. I heard the stories of how my parents prayed for a baby and I was the answer to their prayers.  Years later, I had the opportunity to meet the woman who chose to give me life instead of ending mine to convenience hers. I will forever be grateful. 


I was also the mother crying tears of joy in 2005 as I received a call that our daughter had been born. After having 3 biological sons, we knew God was leading us to adopt our next child. We started the long process and wait. God brought our precious Eliana home 3 months after she was born. 


We have spent the last five years in awe of the miracle of adoption. Ellie is as much our child as our boys are. God has bonded our hearts together as a family in ways I cannot express. 


Ellie knows where she was born. She has heard the stories of how her parents prayed for a baby and she was the answer to our prayers. Even though she may never get the chance to meet the woman who gave her life, we do have pictures and a message that her birth mother gave her. I'm sure that as she gets older, she will treasure these things.

James 1:27 says "Pure and genuine religion in the sight of God the Father means caring for orphans and widows in their distress..."


Though we may not all be called to physically adopt a child, it is clear that we are to have a heart for orphans. 


How can you help? Pray. Pray for the thousands of children across the world who have no family. Pray for the women who are today struggling with the decision of whether or not to give life to their child. Pray for the families who are desperately trying to find funding to grow their family through adoption. 


Give. Adoption is costly. Our own family is still paying off debts occurred from adoption fees. Legal fees, country fees, agency fees, travel fees - adoptive families often times are left struggling to pay these. Show Hope is one of the many amazing organizations set up to help families fund their adoption.


I am blessed to have experienced adoption from two different angles. This precious face reminds me everyday of what a gift adoption is. It is a thread that runs deep through our family and I am forever changed.