Perfectionism

Upstairs I hear the rat-a-tat-tat of drumsticks beating. More than likely, they are not hitting the intended target. Sounds more like a wall. Yes, that's definitely a wall. So much for the "newness" of our house.

I yell at Lucas to stop the incessant drumming on the walls. I'm told he's not the culprit.

Jacob quickly speaks up and says he is the one practicing the drums. Which is great, except Jacob doesn't know how to play the drums. He tries, bless his heart, but the boy has not an ounce of rhythm (I just spelled that word at least 52 times before I got it right.)

Jacob suffers from what I like to call "I have to be able to do everything anyone else has even remotely succeeded at" syndrome. If Lucas plays guitar, so must Jacob. If Lucas hits a home run, so must Jacob. If Lucas can dive into the deep end, Jacob can surely do the same. If Lucas can play the drums, then it's obvious that the same talent must course through Jacob's veins.

The problem is ..... for most of those things ...... Jacob can't. Not that he won't ever. As he gets older, he will certainly accomplish many things that his older brother can already do. But, for now, he can't.

Sometimes this can be good. A little determination goes a long way in trying to learn a new skill. But this intensity and drive mostly just makes him miserable. He is a little boy with huge ideas. And when he can't do those things just the way he envisioned, his life falls apart. It's perfectionism at its deepest.

God has shown me recently (as in today) that these moments are God-given. Moments where the gospel should step in. Instead of taking 10 deep breaths to lower my blood pressure when he is in a heap of tears against the pool fence because he can't dive perfectly the first time, I should be using that time to remind Jacob that no one is perfect. Not me. Not his dad. And certainly not his oldest brother who he tries to keep up with.

But, we do know one who is. And through Him we can do all things.

So I teach Jacob that only through Christ will he ever succeed.

Will Christ work in Jacob to do that perfect roll on the snare drum? Maybe. Maybe not.

But, when we find our identity in Christ, when we seek Him and allow Him to work through us, we will be successful. Maybe not as the world defines success, but certainly as God defines it.

And that, my friends, is all that matters.

Now, if only I can explain that to the 8-year-old upstairs throwing drumsticks against the wall.